How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
