wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
