She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
