the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
