Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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