OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
