her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Can I color on your dick again?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
