Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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