she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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