The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize