I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
