Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
