bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
