How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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