she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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