I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
