Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
