I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
