I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
