I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
