And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
