idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
