I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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