if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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