I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
