i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
