Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
