So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
the liver wants what the liver wants
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
