i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
