yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so let's talk penis.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
