I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
