I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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