it's too hot outside to masturbate.
...so i touched it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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