dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
