I heard we made out
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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