I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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