those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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