So drunk its hurt
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
