Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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