i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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