...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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