Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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