Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
