Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
