How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
