ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
