hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
