Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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