last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
