Betty ford says i'm here all night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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