How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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